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Survivor R+R
No, no, not that kind of R+R. This is Survivor. We're talking rants and raves. It's a darn hard job survivin' Survivor. After 14 seasons, we've suffered the agony of watching Michael Skupin toast his hands in the fire; we've fought the urge to toss the TV -- then jump -- out the window when Johnny Fairplay kept getting closer to the million; we belted out "I Am Woman" when Stephenie Lagrossa carried those two-ton buckets o' water with the guys.
So we, the viewers, deserve to yell, scream, clap, dance and visit the doctor to check our blood pressure after watching the how to outwit, outplay and outlast others in the game of life ... er, I mean Survivor.
First thought for the season:: I certainly hope Made In China takes on a new meaning when Survivor kicks off tonight.
I'd like to kick off my rants with one teeny observation:: If you're name is Courtney, you're a 20-something bartender who's appeared in any kind of entertainment venue, you're gonna have a darn good shot at trying to outwit a bunch of other folks at CBS. Hey, I'm just generalizing.
I might just have to eat my words, but I'm not a fan of pre-Survivor pseudo-celebrities (local or otherwise). And where are the people over, oh, say, 50? Rudy played a pretty good game, as I recall.
Oh, I'd better wait until tonight before I turn snarky. As I've learned since Survivor 1, my first impressions are always spot on -- not.
So, fellow fans, let's get ready to rumble...
Until later,
The Oregonian
The first episode. Memo to Mr. Chicken:: If someone asks you a question, sir, answer it -- even if folks on your tribe ignored your advice previously. The bossy types always get booted first, of course, but at 47, the youngsters might have let you get away with it. When Pei-Geii decided she was ready to supervise the sleeping quarters, you should have answered her -- and she'd be gone.
Now, about this Courtney chick, why did the residents let her escape from New York? She's on national TV, citizens, and she's not doing New Yawkers any favors. Go, Courtney, go -- right off the show. Please.
A few other ramblings:: Um, Leslie, did I hear you say something about not being religious (except for that part about your relationship with you know who). Why would a Buddhist welcome party hurt your beliefs? You mentioned something about not worshiping idols. Well, toots, I guess you won't be trying for immunity, eh? Remember? You're in a game where you're outwitting (ooh, maybe lying) others to get an idol. You're in for a world o' hurt, missy.
More later...
The Oregonian
Episode two:: Memo to the grand pooh-bahs at Survivor:: Make those buffs bigger!
If the women continue to use those little shreds of material for tops (and in Ashley's case, bottoms), all we're going to see on our screens are those blurred images.
Rant:: Dave -- shutup. Erik -- start talking.
Rave:: Amanda hooking up with Todd, the savvy little sneak. You go, girl. And Frosti -- good job taking command when Dave slipped up during the challenge.
Note to Leslie:: Apparently the Guy Upstairs is looking out for you, since Jamie handed you that Immunity Idol clue. But when you told Todd about it ... well, you might not have a prayer of getting it now.
Note about James:: Is he The Great Wall Of China, or what? Looks like trouble ahead when he yaks about Courtney next week. She's a live one, James, and she's just waiting to dig your grave.
Until later,
The Oregonian
Episode three:: Courtney or Leslie. Leslie or Courtney. A self-admitted seven-pound weakling vs. The Church Lady. Let's see -- they both showed disrespect at the welcoming ceremony, so that's a draw. Courtney's a whiny twig; Leslie's a nice, if clueless and irritating religious zealot. (I'm sorry, Leslie, but I don't think God cares who wins or loses on Survivor. How else could you explain Brain's win on Survivor Thailand?)
Despite Leslie's potential to bond with her Christian buddies at the merge, I don't think Courtney's gonna cut it for the tribe. Obviously. As she whacked away at the ropes -- well, whacking is an exaggeration, but you know what I mean -- I cringed. It was a worse sight than Jean-Robert's gut.
Like most of the viewing audience, I'd like to hear Denise's voice. Is this CBS editing, or is she really that quiet? Considering that she's a "school lunch lady," you know perfectly well she can bellow out commands with the best of them. "Eat your vegetables, mister, or you won't see recess the rest of the year!" And Erik -- is he mute, as well?
Can someone explain why Dave felt that being naked would improve his chances during the challenge? Was he trying to scare his opponents? Did he not fear that someone might grab a piece of him that might disable him permanently? His arrogance has not won me over.
Well the tribe hath spoken, and who knows what next week will bring. the previews were not too illuminating. Will James break-up with Jean-Robert? Will Denise and Erik break into song? Will Sherea find more support for her uh, attributes?
Gotta like Frosti -- Xena, Warrior Princess couldn't do the flips he manged into the lake.
Until next time,
The Oregonian
Episode four:: Will someone please get Courtney off Survivor? The only China she needs is a plate -- one with gobs o' food on it. I don't like her, but geez, CBS, she's not just skinny. She's not just thin. She's a walking bamboo stick. It's painful to see someone who's obviously anorexic. Vote her off, people!
Now, to meatier subjects:: Buh-bye Dave. This was not Survivor: The Nudist Colony. Mooning the other tribe was too much. Well, tossing your shorts in that challenge was too much. Dave, you were over-baring. I mean, overbearing. Mr. Smarty Pants, cover up, cuz your tribe spoke, and it's back to the world where most of us wear clothes.
Todd:: Is this guy lucky, or what? Is it his young, innocent face that has everyone but Jeff throwing him good stuff? You know, like two immunity clues? And Jean-Robert is the poker ace? We'll see.
The following image illustrates why I so love Survivor. Where else can you watch a student and a lunch school lady flinging objects at ceramic pots dressed as Chinese warriors?
Chinese warriors in tennis shoes, no less? Way to go, Jaime.
Speaking of school lunch ladies -- Denise! You speak! And you speaketh the truth (school lunch=frozen chicken nuggets). After dining on that fine-looking meal the local family threw together, how will you serve greasy gravy and watery mashed potatoes to the students? Nice to hear from you, finally.
Sherea:: I like you. I really like you (way to tell Dave to back off).You're a great competitor in the challenges. But you'd better start picking up sticks, or pretend to search for something edible during the day, or you're toast. Fry up some of Dave's shells, just do it.
Random thoughts:: Jean-Robert just happens to know enough Mandarin to talk to the locals? Wow. Frosti -- he's young, but he sure seems wise. Aaron, now that Dave is gone, the viewers will not be so confused. You two just have the same look. Peih-Gee has toned things down a notch -- perhaps she'll go farther than expected.
For those who pooh-pooh Survivor, they oughta take a look at an episode just to see the scenery. Amazing that such beautiful landscapes survive with the billions of people who live in the country.
Well, until next time,
The Oregonian
theoregonian |
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, Oct 12 2007, 3:22 PM EDT
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| Started By | Thread Subject | Replies | Last Post | ||
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| theoregonian | Umm... I'm moving your comment... | 1 | Sep 29 2007, 7:55 PM EDT by solesurvivor547 | ||
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Thread started: Sep 23 2007, 3:25 AM EDT
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theoregonian here:: I agree with you, but somehow your words o' wisdom ended up on my page, instead of the comments section. But keep those cards and letters comin'!
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| LauraCRNAnesthetist | China | 1 | Sep 28 2007, 6:57 AM EDT by theoregonian | ||
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Thread started: Sep 26 2007, 12:57 AM EDT
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Well I have to agree about Courtney... She is quite the be-atch. I am not sure how or why she made it on the show. Possibly because they wanted a new villian. OH WAIT, that is the other show, who wants to be a superhero? by Stan Lee. N E ways, this looks like this season might be more interesting than the last one. I have my fingers crossed;)
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| lkc159 | Response | 0 | Sep 24 2007, 5:47 AM EDT by lkc159 | ||
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Thread started: Sep 24 2007, 5:47 AM EDT
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"WELL THESE PEOPLE EVERY LEARN THAT THEY CAN LEARN FOR THE OLDER ONES. THERE ARE THING THEY KNOW THAT THEY CAN TEACH THE YOUNGER ONES "
Age does not mean experience, if not he wouldn't have ignored others. And about leslie: I believe her quote was in fact "bow down to another GOD", not idol. Which is wrong, because Buddha is not a god, just an enlightened human who has experienced Nirvana. |
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